What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What does it mean to you to live a life that reflects biblical values?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why is it after eating almonds when I’m occupied, I don’t feel mild itch, but as soon as I have nothing to do, I feel mildly itchy?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why would my ex block me after I blocked him?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why are we explaining today’s “climate change” as driven by human related “green house” gasses when natural “global warming” pushed sea level up to the “shores” of Topeka with no human contribution or even presence? Is Occam’s Rasor applied?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What do dreams about dead people mean?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Why do people hate Nickelback so much? What makes them different from other popular bands like Linkin Park, Green Day, etc.? Is it just because they're Canadian or what?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

TEXT:

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What has been your best sexual experience?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

How do you relax?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

What do you think of the controls that will be set up over information flows at Taiwan's Ministry of Foreign Affairs' missions?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What can you do if you are a full-grown adult, but never experienced being a child?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Do you think cheating is that bad?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.